For about a quarter of an hour before we leave the house fourteen feet of various sizes pound up and down the stairs, drawers and cupboards are opened and slammed shut, and everyone is talking at once in an effort to locate anything from a shoe that has mizzled overnight to a particular doll to satisfy the baby. We arrive still breathless, me looking rather the worse for wear, and with a sigh of relief take our places with seconds to spare.

For a while Hilary is content to look at prayer books and pictures but this peace is all too short-lived - she suddenly becomes aware that she has an audience, the rows and rows of people behind us. Without more ado and before Ron or I can make a grab for her she's standing on her chair saying in a loud voice "Hello, Auntie Audrey, Uncle Des, I've got my -" the rest is a muffled blurb as we clap hands over her mouth and lift her down admonishing in whispers.

The 'plate' is a great attraction and she loudly announces "COLLECTION" if Daddy is slow in producing the necessary. Normally she sits like Lady Bountiful waiting to drop her contribution, but only last Sunday she showed us and the congregation another trick. She flicked her coin in the air and in a big voice demanded "Heads or Tails?" As luck would have it, it landed in the aisle, so she retrieved it, gave it to the collector and clambered back to her place. From then until the Final Blessing we were all treated to 'gems' from her repertoire - 'Sing a song of sixpence' and 'James, hold the ladder steady.' This last annoys her big brother James intensely for some obscure reason - he's a serious nine year old, and as he isn't near enough to give her a poke in the ribs (we keep the kids seated as far apart as possible in Church) he has to be satisfied with giving her one of his 'cross' looks - a 'wait till I get you outside' glare.

Afterwards I sit in the car waiting to call the roll - we find this essential because it isn't unknown for us to leave one or other of the children behind. Gay chatters with her boyfriends, Malcolm talks to his 'Scrambling' pals, James has a friendly fight with two of Audrey's boys, and Paul, who is an Altar Server, needs a few minutes in which to douse the candles and remove his cassock. Hilary enjoys her job of pressing the hooter when we feel they've had reasonable time, then they come at the double not wanting a two mile walk before 'Brunch', a big 'Fry-up'.

We really ought to count our brood more often. Recently Ron and I decided to have an early night and had settled down in bed with our books. Shortly there came a tap on the bedroom door, and Malcolm's voice "Dad, someone's throwing stones at my window." We both leapt out of bed wondering who on earth could be visiting us at this time of night, but before I reached the stairs it dawned on me that the visitor was our eldest daughter returning home from the Youth Club. To completely forget about her like that was unforgiveable, but she just laughed and thought it a great joke.